axonometric hyperglobules and periphrastic lemoncellophones

tom ford says i need to have more sex, so i have been going on more dates recently. foreplay experiences include but are not limited to:

1. being told that fritz lang’s metropolis gets my date hot

2. telling guys ‘no, i do not work out.’

3. talking about professional football

4. hinting about the diarrhetic affects of too much vitamin c

5. playing mario kart horrendously after smoking too much

6. discussing yoga practice for women in their seventies

hopefully tomorrow’s trip to the whitney with justin will prove that i can spend time with another gay guy in new york and not find the sudden urge to stab myself in the eye.